Democratic parenting is the most recommended parenting style in nurturing our child! These type of parents are more open minded and not controlling. It is the most common parenting style in the world today. A child who raised up by democratic parents are able to enjoy his childhood life and have high potential to become a happy soul in the future!
The common characteristics of democratic parents are :
- set parental rules and directions with open discussion in order their child understand the objects of the rules
- apply child centered approach, but not controlling
- give space and freedom for the child to explore
- emphasize in good communication with the child
- listen to the child’s opinion and needs
- set limits and ground rules
- in case any punishment, the democratic parent always explains his motive to their punishment
- usually choose to forgive the child’s wrong doing instead of punishing
- punishment is not by physical force, but grounding the child such as sitting on a thinking stool or no TV etc.
- always be there for the child
The child who is nurtured by democratic parents develops higher self-esteem and confident. The child is independent and able to form own opinion. He expresses his opinion and feelings openly allowing people to understand him as an individual. The child is usually happy with themselves as he feels love and his parents listen to him. He is usually generous to others and willing to help his friend who’s in need. The child develops positively in all his areas of development as he is given a very healthy environment that is crucial for his growth. He is understanding and willing to accept people’s opinion.
The democratic parenting is not just applicable to parents, but it is highly recommended to all teachers. Though I’m teaching a group of 2.7 to 3.3 years old. I always reason with the child if he misbehaves. The child may not understand what I’m trying to tell him in the first time and he will repeat his wrong behavior. That’s alright, because the child is still young and he is still exploring and experimenting in his surrounding. Patience and more patience are required, and we have to keep telling and telling. The child will slowly learn to differentiate right and wrong and the consequences of his behavior.
I have a boy who was very aggressive at a period of time. Whenever he wanted something, he would snatch and push his friend till he got it. Of course his friend would be crying and roughly pushed on the floor. He was told about his misbehavior and was even put on a thinking stool. However, he still repeated his behavior.
One day, he pushed his friend again and the other boy fell on the floor crying. I took him aside and asked why he pushed his friend most of the time. He said, “I wanted that book, it’s mine!”. I told him that the book belonged to the school and he has to ask politely. I realized that he didn’t really understand what I’m trying to tell me. So, I pushed his shoulder. I asked him if he liked it. He said, “No!”. I pushed him again and asked him again if he liked it. He got upset and said “NO!” very loudly. I told him, “If you don’t like it, do you think your friend will like it when you pushed him?”. This time, he paused for awhile and then shook his head, “No.”.
Since then, he seldom pushes his friend if he wants something badly. Instead, he learns to ask using “May I ..” and “Please”. Eye contacts and supports are important in the beginning when he just started to learn asking for permission from his friends.
Today, he is able to ask properly whenever he wants something from his friend. Most of the time, his friends will give him the object that he asked for. It takes time to cultivate a right behavior in a child. Repetition makes perfect. The time and effort we spend worth it!
Being democratic doesn’t mean being over-protective or over-restrictive. Be firm with the limits and ground rules that have set earlier. Always be flexible to change our approach in order to get the child understand the consequences and he decides if his future action and behavior instead of us forcing him to be what we want him to be. Respect the child, he will learn! Nurture a child does need lots of patience and love!
