“I wonder how is he doing in the school..but I don’t feel like talking to this teacher.”, does this thought occur in you sometimes when you pick up your child from the school.  Well, this is one of the common incidents happen when we nurture our child.  Many parents do not have the habit to chat with the  caregiver/teacher who is taking care of their child.  Normally, they just asked their child what he has done or wait for the child to tell them what he has gone through in the school or just don’t bother at all.  It depends what kind of parent you are!  Some parents only listen and trust their child so much that they would not listen to  the caregiver’s/teacher’s point of view.  This make the situation difficult.

As a teacher myself, I found that some teachers are reluctant to talk to the parents, even though they notice some behavior change in a child.  Many times I heard teachers talking about certain children on their change of behavior.  Instead of taking the right action immediately to help the child, the teacher just ignore and move on her daily activities.  I approached a very senior teacher before asking her why not talk to the parents about the problem and get the correct information so that we can help the child.  “No, we can only talk to the parents during bonding meeting.”, she told me firmly.  The bonding meeting will only be held two months later, but the problem noticed is now, why we have to drag that long?  She can’t answered me, but kept saying that’s the way it should be.  Can you believe that?

A child is going through an emotional crisis and we adults just ignore it!  End of the day, the child becomes even more stubborn and problematic, adults point the finger to the child and said, “He has changed so much and becoming more and more naughty!”.  Is it fair to the child?

Communicating between parents-teacher/caregiver is not about gossips, but focus on the child’s progress.  I received feedback from teachers that some parents are too protective against their child that they cannot accept any negative remarks about their child.  These parents become defensive and the teacher fails to deliver the message to them so that both sides can work out a solution for the problem.  Therefore, some teachers avoid this issue by just reporting what the parents wants to hear.

Parents have to be opened to accept both good and bad comments about or child.  Teachers have to be sincere in delivering the messages to the parents.  If it’s negative comments, always accompany with positive solution.  Parents can do their observation too at home to confirm the behavior.  Always remember that we want to help the child!  The child’s benefit comes first!

I used to have a boy who was very aggressive.  He snatched whatever he wanted from his friends.  He pushed his friends roughly to get what he wanted.  Everyone said that he was very naughty and problematic.  I observed him to find out why was he behaving that way.  I talked to the mother who came to fetch him from school.  We talked about who he played with at home, how he played etc.  I found out that he was the only child in the family and he was not given opportunity to mix with children at his age or other children.  He just mixed with adults who used to give in to whatever he wanted.  I told the mother what I’ve observed and we shared ideas on how we can help him.  As we have the communication and observation, we are able to identify the real root of his problem - lack of social skills e.g. sharing, take turns.

The parents are very cooperative.  At home, the parents reminded him the 3 NOs - no pushing, no snatching, no screaming!  In school, I showed him how to ask politely from his friends using “may I”, “please”, “thank you”.  I told the teachers in the environment about his situation and how we can encourage him instead of keep punishing him.  Supports and encouragement must be there in the early stage!  We shared the progress of his behavior.  His aggressiveness became less and less.  Eventually he learned to ask something from his friends, share with his friends and wait for his turn.   His behavior is able to rectify positively due to communication and cooperation between the parents and teacher.

Good communication also enable parents and teacher/caregiver to support each other in nurturing a child’s development.  We should appreciate when we have good support and communication because we know that we are doing it for the child, an act of love!  Therefore, the cooperation between the parents and the caregiver/teacher is important to nurture our child more effectively when our child has entered a nursery or kindergarten or childcare center.

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