How does an overprotecting parent nurture his child and what are the effects on the child when he grows up? This is important as it determines the characteristic of our child in the future! Children love to imitate adults in many ways - language, movement, behaviour etc. Spare a few minutes to look at our parents, we will surprise that we copied some of our parents’ characteristic without us realizing it. When we become parents, we will pass it down to our child in the process of nurturing our child.
“How do I know if I am over protecting my child? I am just trying to protect them from harm.” - That is what we commonly hear from parents.
Of course we have to protect our child and ensure his safety. For instance, we have to be more alert if we put our child sitting at the back seat. We need to make sure he is buckled properly in his baby car seat and our car locks are locked. We have to be alert along our driving journey to ensure our child is not moving away from his car seat by looking at the front mirror from time to time and talking or singing with the child to keep him busy and get his attention. I read an incident in our local newspaper yesterday that all parents should be alert. A five years old girl unlocked and opened the car door at the back causing her two years old brother fell off the car and was killed under the car wheels. They were not on the car seats and the both parents are sitting at the front seats allowing children playing around at the back. In this case, we as an adult or parents have to take safety precautions in order to ensure our child’s safety to avoid accident from happening.
Over protecting parents are those parents love the child so much that they have indirectly restrict their freedom. The restrictions will prohibit the child from making progress healthily in his overall development. For instance, a mother does not allow her child to mix with other children because she is afraid that her child might learn some bad habits or worry that her child will catch flu from other children. Due to the mother’s attitude, the child is over protected by her mother and he lost his opportunity to socialize with other children. As a result, the child does not obtain any social skills and becomes a loner. The child develops low self-esteem.
I met a girl friend last night. She told me a story of her friend who is a father of a two years old. He is so concerned and protective that he will not allow her daughter to sit on the floor without a pillow. Reason being is that he does not want her daughter to feel pain on her bottom. Can you imagine how this father worried about just a sitting style? What about other issues in her daughters life? Will it going to be healthy to both father and daughter? Both of them will be stressed up all the time which is not healthy at all!
A child who is nurtured under an over protecting parent will develop Peter Pan Syndrome. The child becomes over dependent on the parent or people around him. When the child grows up an adult, he will still possess a mind of child but a body of an adult. He refuses to stop being a child! The characteristic of a person with Peter Pan Syndrome are :
- dependent and has not developed the necessary skills to confront life
- inability to take on responsibilities and commit themselves or keep promises
- over concern about his personal well-being and about the way he looks
- lack of self-confidence
- scare of loneliness
- anxious easily and intolerant towards any criticism
- having adaption problems at work as well as in personal relationships
Stop being over protective! Love our child the right way. If we never let him fall, he will never learn how to stand up. If we always help our child to stand up each time he falls, he will never learn how to stand up on his own. Our child will not be able to face the challenges in the real world. Remember, we can’t be with them forever! Lets nurture our child with the right ways.
