“How can I be a good parent to my child?”, this is a question asked by a parent who has read my blog and wanted to nurture her child with love, but does not know how and where to begin.  I admire her honesty and her will to become a better parent to her children.  How many of us out there have asked ourselves how to be a good parent?  Are we good parents to our child?

A lot of people will debate on this issue.  Some are confident that they are good parents.  Some are just felt that they are not good enough and not done enough for their child.  How can we measure “Good Parent”?!  I do hope I can use a measuring tape or scale to help the parents to measure!  (smile)

Good parents ensures that their children will not starve from hunger.  They provide a warm shelter for their children to stay.  Good parents also ensure their children are sent to a proper school to receive formal education in order to gain knowledge and skills for their future undertaking.  Good parents work hard for the money in order their child can live in comfortable and healthy condition.  They plan for their children from preschool to primary school till university or college; insurance plan; savings plan and so on because they love their children so much that they want the best for them!  They buy toys, books, clothes, accessories, computer etc. so that their children can have fun and enjoy themselves.  Good parents plan for family tour so that their children get the opportunity to visit new places or countries and gain experiences as well as knowledge about culture and life in different places beside the current place they stay.

If you are doing all the above, are you a good parent?  Of course you are, because you take up your responsibility as a father/mother to make sure your child is taken care of!  However, is that enough to be a good parent in this modern society in the 21st century?  If you have a choice, would you like to be better parent to your child?

Children nowadays are different from the time we were raised up by our parents.  They are brought up in a different and more complex environment.  They are more exposed via media and internet.  Their food intake and diet are more balanced and healthier, that make them more active and intelligent.  As their surrounding is more complex, they tend to be more emotional and sensitive.  If we do not give enough attention to them, they can be influenced easily by their peers or media.  How can we be better parents?

• Spend quality time with your child every day.   Talk to him and listen to him.  Have eye contacts when you are having conversation with him.  Quality time means the time only for your child and nothing else.  Turn off your mobile phone, off the television, put away your newspaper, put aside your daily stress etc.  Enjoy the private time with your child.

• Find out the child’s inner needs.  Try your best to meet his needs and support him.

• If you notice the child’s changing behavior, understand the change and find out the cause of it.  Deal with it with love and patience.

• Provide a safe and healthy setting for the child’s development.

• Consult a child specialist to guide you if needed.  A specialist is able to provide the necessary advices and supports in nurturing your child in the proper manner.

• Be fair and do not exercise favoritism in one particular child.  Set ground rules in the family as a guideline and to avoid dispute or argument among family members.  Allow the child participate in the family discussion and listen to their point of view.  Also allow them to learn about democratic discussion!

• Love your child unconditionally, but does not mean that you need to give in to him each time.  This is not called love, but spoilt!  You might create a spoiled child that is dependent/bossy/aggressive/low self-esteem/low self-concept etc.  Do you like that?

• For husband and wife who has some differences in children issue or other family issues, please settle the differences in private and not in front of the children.  Be a good role model to your child!  Your child is observing you.  So, if you are immature in dealing situation, your child will imitate your way too!

• Try your very best to stay calm in facing difficult issues or situations such as argument, dispute or marital problem.  Do not exclude your child!  Talk to them and allow them to understand the situations.  Otherwise, the child might think that he is the cause of everything!

• Do not hold the idea that “they are just children, they do not understand!”.  They do!  They think!  They have feelings and emotions just like adults too!  They feel, but they do not know how to express or tell.  If we are not there in time to guide them or If they just keep all the negative thoughts or emotions inside them, they will be over burdened and their behavior change drastically.  They might become rebellious, angry, upset, frustrated etc.

Most importantly, a better parent nurtures his child with love and patience!  Remember to hug and kiss your child before you leave the house each day!

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