“Yes, mummy!”, “Yes, teacher!”, “Ok!” - We are so relief when we are able to nurture our child to be obedient. A “yes” child always do what we ask him to do. This type of child makes our life so much easier and peaceful. I believe you will agree with me totally!

One of my 3 years old boys is very obedient. He will do exactly what I ask him to do. For instance, I asked him to do coloring, he obeyed and sat at the table coloring his piece of paper. Then, I would work with other children. Whenever I observed him, I can see that he has done with his work and looking around, but he dare not ask for excuse. Whenever he saw me looking at him, he would quickly turn his head back to his paper and continue with his coloring. I did that few times just to see his reaction, and he did the same. If I didn’t approach him in an hour time, he would just sat there playing with his pencil or watching his friends playing on the floor. He would not leave the table because I didn’t ask him to. This is just one incident that I shared with you.

How do you find the too obedient boy? If you have 8 young children under your care, I believe you will be lucky to have a child like this because he will not cause any problem. Therefore, you can spend more timeswith those who are aggressive and active. However, there are some disadvantage for the child in his development that we need to take note :

• Adult may pay less attention to him as he is a ‘good’ child.
• As he does exactly what is told, his thinking tend to become rigid and not innovative. He just wait for direction or instruction from other people and does accordingly.
• The child only knows how to carry out adult’s instructions or ideas will not become a confident active thinker.
• The too obedient child dares not take risks and does not allow himself to experiment with different ways of doing things.
• His imagination and creativity are not being developed fully.
• The child develops low self-esteem and low self-confident.
• He is not independent!

If we are able to address the problem, we can help the child to understand that it’s acceptable if he tells how he really feels and it’s alright to say “No” sometimes. In my case, I repeatedly told the boy that he could approach me once he has finished his work and he wanted to choose other activity to work with. Today, he informs me whenever he finishes his work and he independently choose his activity that he likes. He learns to say “No” to me and learns to compromise with other options instead of just obey and follow exactly to everything I want him to do. He learns to have his own stands and he feels confident about it. He learns to make his own choice and decision. He feels more comfortable and confident with himself because his decision and his choice are respected by adults. We improve our communication and the bonding between us is closer. Always remember to give words of praise and encouragement.

In order to encourage his creativity, I always encourage him to think out of the box. Initially when I gave him a piece of paper with a circle on it, he would just look at the paper for a long time without drawing anything. I have to keep encouraging him to draw anything he wants in or outside the circle. After a long time, he slowly used a color pencil to put some strokes on it. I would praise him for a good job that he has done! He made his first step! Later on, I spent time with him working on blocks and drawings in order for him to feel good that he can build or draw anything that is in his mind! We have had a good times in the process. We laughed and we talked about any designs that he made. He is encouraged to experiment different ways of doing things!

This is the latest drawing that he made recently. I gave him a paper with two circles drew on it. He took some time just looking at the paper. After 10 minutes, he finally started drawing. When he has done with it, he told me that he has drawn a caterpillar. I can see a moving caterpillar? Can you? Look at the short strokes that he has drawn along the circles! Those are the legs of the caterpillar.

It’s amazing to see the progress in him. If we are able to spend time and effort in nurturing our child, we can help him to bring out his full potential! Lets do it together!

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