“Of course I nurture my child! I raise my child just like everyone else. I feed him. I send him to school. I send him to tiution. I buy him toys. He can spend his time playing computer games or watch TV after he finished his homework….”. Does this sound familiar in most family? Parents feel that they are nurturing their child all the while! Of course, this is a typical family concept and we should be blessed because we still have food, shelter and education provided by our parents compared to many unfortunate children in the world. This is raising up a child. What about nurture them? Why need to nurture a child? How can we do that?
Nurturing a child is so much important than just raising up a child. Nurturing a child requires lots of effort, effort that we are willing to give to our child. This effort inclusive of our love, patience and quality time. In summary, the actions and effort that we put in the process of nurturing a child will affect the child’s growth and development in many aspects in life - emotion, social, intellectual, literacy and physical. I will share with you in more detail in the coming posts.
I met a mother who is a businesswomen and always busy with her job. Her husband also handles his own business. As both husband and wife are busy, they send their 5 years old twins to kindergarten in the morning till afternoon, and then they will be sent to their grandmother’s. When she approached me last year. She told me that she is so concerned about their studies as they will be entering primary school in another year, but they still can’t read and speak well in English though the school’s language medium is English. The school teacher complaint that both the children are very playful and slow learner. Both boys showed no interest to learn and most worrying the mother is that the youngest refused to go to school.
After listened to her concern, I decided to help her observe the boys and guide them. In the beginning, I observed their behaviour as well as the environment that they spend most of their time - home and school. I found that the parents gave in whatever they want in form of material things especially toys. While the grandmother always scolds them and comments them with negative words most of the time even in front of the outsiders (such as naughty, stupid). I met their teacher and I asked her about their progress for the past 1 year in the school. The school said their system is the best and they suspect the kids have tongue tied problem and push the responsibilities to the parents. I asked them about the teacher:child ratio in their class. You’ll be surprise…1:20. Yet, they still so persistent that their system is the best and all children are getting the same attention from the teacher. I doubt it!
From my observation, the boys are smart and bright. It’s just that they are not given a healthy environment to boost their confidence and self-esteem. They are in a very discouraging environment as they are receiving negative words most of the time that they are slow learner, naughty, not smart etc. When I initially worked with the boys, they didn’t cooperate. I spent time chatting and listening to them. I read story books and used lots of model animals to get their attention. I gave them credits when they behave well and will tell them that I got upset when they are not listening. I reason with them when they are not behaving well.
In times, I observed some changes in their behaviour. They listen to reasons and behave accordingly on their own will. They grow interest in learning. I will buy them story books and they love it. Though they can’t speak good English, but I listen and repeat what they said in proper English. Once the boys find English language is fun to learn, they initiate themselves to learn without us urging them. They become more confident and speak even more. I spent about 3-4 hours with them in a week.
After two months, their teacher told me that they improve tremendously. The mother and their aunty told me that the kids now love books and can see them writing or copying on paper automatically without asking. Of course, I’m glad that the parents are willing to cooperate with me, where they encourage them with positive words and replace toys with books. Communication and cooperation between the parents and educators are very important as well in nurturing our child. The younger brother who used to be categorized as slow learner, is now improving so much and more concentrate in learning. Of course, they are still have lots to improve, but that’s a very encouraging progress in their development. Please remember that nurturing a child is a long term and continuous effort.
I believe each child has his own potential and talent. It’s our responsibility to find out and help them discover their own strength. That’s why we need to nurture our child with love and patience. Love them enough to guide and encourage them, be patient enough to listen to them and discover them. Spend quality time with our child to understand their needs and their thoughts. Nurture our child with love and patient!
