While waiting for parents to pick up end of the school day, one of my girls pulled my hand and said, “Teacher, come with me, I want to show you my boyfriend.”.  I paused and surprised as this girl is just 4 years old.  She pulled me to the other side of the children who were sitting and waiting.  Then she pointed at a boy (6 years old) very shyly and giggled, “That’s my boyfriend!”.  The boy saw her and smiled at her.  I asked the boy if this girl is her girlfriend, he said, “Yes!  She is my girlfriend.”.  I looked at them and wondered..aren’t they grown up too fast?!

What will be your reaction if your little girl or boy told you about his/her girlfriend or boyfriend?

First of all, there is no need to panic or over worried.  Talk to them and listen to them, you will discover their perspective on the issue.  The two children above do not know exactly what is the meaning of girlfriend and boyfriend.  You will realize that the friendship is pure and they are just being nicer to each other; or one being so nice to him or her that he/she feels special and appreciated, therefore in return he/she also being nice in return.

However, we do need to observe their behavior when both of them are together.  In this case, I was told by another teacher that she kissed the boy on his cheek.  After a day or two, the girl met the boy again.  This time, she became too excited after talking to two teachers about her boyfriend.  The two teachers were laughing and showing much interest of her boyfriend, it gave her the impression that this is fun and teachers also like it.  So, she become too excited that she kissed the boy again and again on the cheeks and lips.  Well, it’s more to peck on the cheeks and lips.  We stopped her and asked her to sit separately from the boy.

In this incident, we are to be responsible as well as we create a mental picture that the boyfriend and girlfriend issue is fun and we enjoy it very much.  Young children love attention.  Our inappropriate response has encouraged her to react in that way.  She thought that we would like her more if she kept showing her affection towards the boy.

Do not mislead the child in this issue as we find it cute to see young children talking about his/her girlfriend or boyfriend.  Like the case above, she was misled that adults approved of what she is doing and enjoyed it.  However, she was punished after she has tried to show off her affection in front of the adults.  She was confused.

Guide the child with positive affirmations.  Young children might not understand if we are too eager to explain what is the real meaning of boyfriend or girlfriend.  Instead, tell him/her that you are glad to know that the boy or girl is special to him/her because he/she is being nicer to each other.  Then tell the child that perhaps he/she can be nice to everyone as well so that everyone also feels as happy as he/she is.  This can be a way to divert his/her attention on the issue.  We are guiding the child to develop positive social relations and social skills.

If you have any other ideas on this matter, do share with me.  I love to hear them!  Enjoy reading!