Do you have a child who are just first time to school? How is he been doing? Does he cry when you are leaving him? Some mothers are very reluctant to leave their child crying when they need to leave the school. I saw mothers who cried when their forced themselves to leave.
New school term just started for about two weeks. There are still crying and screaming on and off during the school operating hours. I have two new boys this school term. One of them is big size and strong. First day his mother accompanied him. Then the mother asked if she can just leave him here on the second day. I told her, “Yes.”. It was really struggling to get him to the class on the next first three days without mother around. When the mother left him in the class, he would be running and chasing after the mother. I need to grab him, but he is just too strong. I need another teacher to help me to stop him from running around.
As a parent, I don’t think any parent feels good leaving their child crying for mummy. Many of us would want to cuddle our child and ensure that he feels safe and trust mummy that she will be there for him at all time. However, we need to be firm enough to let go of our child so that the teacher can bond with him easily. When one of the parents is around with him all day in the school, the child tend to just stay with the parent at all time. We are unable to create an opportunity where the child and teacher can interact with each other.
The boy initially cried terribly. I hugged him and calmed him with funny acts just to make him smile and feel comfortable with me. This way works most of the time. Of course, we need to know the child’s background so that we can accommodate his needs. In my case, this new boy can’t speak English. He can only speak French and Arabic which I can’t. We used lots of sign language. Most of all, laughter brings people together. Therefore, it’s important to make the classroom environment fun and comfortable for all children. At the same time, I like getting children to bond with each other by pairing them in working on activities together. In this way, children are able to build friendship with each other.
Two days ago I need to send one of my children to different class as I found him too advance for my age group. He was nervous when I took him to the other class. This boy can’t speak English too and his understanding of English is very limited. When we reached the class, he tried running out from the class. I just felt so bad. The teachers in the area took him and asked me to leave. He was crying. That moment I just felt like I was cruel to leave him in that situation - fear and insecure as it will be a new environment for him. I left with a heavy heart. You should see his eyes, “Please don’t leave me here with them…”. The teachers ensured me that he will be fine. I went peak on him whenever possible just to check on him. He actually adapted to the environment on the third day as there are few Koreans at his age in that area and the lesson plans are more suitable for him.
Therefore, we just need to trust the home teacher that she is going to do her job. The first boy that I’ve been talking about in the beginning is now happily coming to school every day on his own. He stopped crying on the third day of school. Most of all, I enjoy the time I share together with my children every day.
How can I deal with my crying child in his new school?
- Trust the teacher
- Leave him in the class with the teacher
- Communicate with the teacher to find out his progress. Find out how we can cooperate with the teacher to help our child adapt to his new environment faster and happier.
- Prepare the child’s emotion by talking about school, friends and so on
- Take him to visit school earlier to let him have an idea of his school
How long does he needs to adapt to the new environment?
It depends how soon the child able to bond with the teacher. I personally believe that communication with between parents and teacher during this early stage is essential. Communication with teacher helps to ease our worries and anxiety for our child in his school. Communication helps build an understanding between both party. As for teacher, we get to know the child’s background better from the parents and be able to know how to bond with the child easier. When the child feels secure and comfortable, he will stop his crying or reluctant of coming to school; Instead he will start to enjoy his school life!
Relax! Everything is going to be fine!
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