“My child does not socialize with others. He is too shy in front of other children and adults.”, does this sound familiar? This type of children is more introvert when outside his home. His behavior is different at home. He might be more talkative and active. It’s normal for a child to display such extreme behavior outside and inside his home. Different children require different length of time to adapt to a new environment. We can help our child to adapt and fit in quickly if we are able to guide him with the right approach.
Why do they feel shy or not socialize?
- Lack of confident
- Lack of social skills. Do not know how to make friends
- Lack of bonding between the child and the teacher in school
- Fear. Afraid of rejection
- Witness some bad experiences e.g. children pushing each other and crying, adults scolding etc.
How can we help our child to be more socialize?
Encouragement. We can’t change a person in one night. We need to be persistent and continuously encourage our child to make friends. Read story books about making new friends to motivate him to make his first attempt. We do not push our child too much if he’s not ready. For instance, we force our child to talk or play with his friend in a playgroup even though he refuses to. If he still refuses to try, take him to a corner and let him watch the other children play. Sit with him and watch together while encourage him, e.g. “Look at that boy! Look at how he slide! Wow! I like to play with him so that he can teach me how to slide like that. Don’t you?”.
Send him to playgroup or school. Some parents might worry that their child can’t get along with others. Do not over protect your child! Talk to the person in charge or the teacher about your child’s situation so that they can be more sensitive towards him and able to take action to help your child. Playgroup and school is the best place for our child to learn social skills - make friends, sharing, take turns etc.. Encourage him to participate in other activities such as arts, piano, dancing etc., to help him develops healthy hobby and expand his networking.
Give him space and freedom. A child needs lots of space and freedom to explore and play. Dr Maria Montessori stated that play helps a child in his emotional development as play is enjoyable and fun. Create a setting that he can play happily. such as sand play, water play etc. This will help him feel good about himself as he feels happy and satisfied. Do not over protect our child because we are too worried that our child get hurt or sick and so on. Let him makes choices and explore his surroundings. Help him cultivate his self-confident and self-esteem.
Spend quality time with our child. Do some activities together such as arts and crafts, games, cooking, outdoor, trip etc. and have fun together. Laughter and joy help strengthen the mother/father-child relationship. Our child will share his feelings and thoughts with us if we have a strong and close bonding with him. Therefore, we will be able to guide him when we know his inner feelings.
Create opportunity for our child. We can organize a small party or gathering at home by inviting our child’s friends (classmates) or our neighbors’ children. Plan some programs that can involve all children to play together. For instance, if your child likes science and arts. Get him to demonstrate some science experiments and craft activities. He can guide other children to perform the activities. This will help him improve his self-confident. We become the bridge between our child and his friends.
Be patient with our child. We need to be patient to guide him and help him open up to others. Keep encouraging our child. A little step at a time. Once he feels confident enough and ready, he is able to socialize without problem.
Don’t give up. We will be able to help our child if we persistent enough. We need to repeatedly try out the said methods. If you have a better idea, do write to me and share with me!
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